


there's an end in friend

by amourfou



Category: JO1 (Japan Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Best Friends, Family Drama, Family Issues, Implied Sexual Content, Issei is Just an Innocent Little Brother Here We Do Not Want Him Involved in the Mess, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:41:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27820174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amourfou/pseuds/amourfou
Summary: Shosei thinks being friends with Syoya has its ups and downs.
Relationships: Kimata Syoya/Kinjo Sukai, Ohira Shosei/Sato Keigo
Comments: 10
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't condone the behavior of all characters in this fic. All of them.
> 
> Special thanks to my lovely beta (although Alpha in nature, but for the sake of fic publishing, is a beta) for being an amazing person putting up with my complete, utter nonsense.

Syoya tries to swallow the mashed potatoes that he has been trying to consume for the past few minutes, but he can’t seem to just put it down.

He looks at his food, unappealing to him despite how luxurious it all is and then looks around in front of the table he’s sitting on. His younger brother is happily munching on his food on the left and on the other end his parents are silent, with tension between them so thick Syoya can almost cut through it. His dad’s face is void of any expression, and his mom’s eyes are swollen but even through the thick makeup Syoya can see that.

Nobody says a word at the dining table, and the only thing that can be heard is the sound of utensils clanking against the plate. Nobody dares speak up, and even his younger brother has caught up on that. Syoya can’t stop boring his eyes on this dad’s face for some reason, he can’t stomach how he can just sit there and act like nothing is wrong. 

Syoya can feel the bile rise up to his throat, but stops it just in time.

Even looking at his father makes him feel sick.

There is a beeping sound, and despite them always talking about how there are no phones allowed while eating he breaks his composure and fishes for the phone in his pocket, reading the message that just arrived with the screen slightly inching away from everyone just so nobody can peek on it.

His dad licks his lips as he stares on his phone, and Syoya doesn’t even want to think what it could possibly be. It only takes him a few more seconds until his dad gets up from his seat, claims the need to attend to some work emergency and goes.

“Can’t you at least finish your dinner?” Syoya’s mom says in a voice so small Syoya thinks she’s about to break.

“Nope, it’s an urgent emergency. I’ll be back later.” His dad wipes his mouth and sets the napkin just by his chair and then he’s gone just like that, making his way to the garage. Syoya thinks he knows who the message came from and where his dad is going, but he just can’t stop him.

Syoya can see his mom’s hand shake as she holds on to the chopsticks tightly and he wants to tell her that it’s okay, and that it will be fine, but even he himself isn’t so sure anymore.

His perfect life had crumbled bit by bit like a sandcastle near a wave, but instead of water it was the closest person in his life that did it to him. He just didn’t know it yet. 

* * *

Syoya practically almost grew up with Shosei.

Shosei was from Kyoto, but had to move to Aichi because his dad died and they were forced out of their home. They had a distant relative in Aichi that was willing to take them in and it’s not like the Ohiras had any choice. He and his siblings moved to the area and it just so happened that he attended the same school Syoya did. They met and clicked as kids and the rest was history.

Shosei was not as well off as Syoya, but that didn’t hinder their friendship at all. Syoya never acted or treated the latter differently, in fact Syoya always made sure that whatever he had, Shosei had too. All the latest toys, and clothes, and everything that was of interest to Syoya had also a duplicate for Shosei. Shosei’s mother worked all day and his sisters had begun marrying and starting their own family so it’s pretty much Shosei alone all the time.

Syoya saw that as a concern because _don’t you feel lonely by being alone most of the time_ so he made it a habit to always invite Shosei in his house (which is an understatement, because it was more of a mansion to the normal eye) and made it clear to him that whatever he had, he shares with Shosei. Shosei can feel free at home in the Sato residence and that’s fine, because he’s Syoya’s best friend and that’s what best friends do.

Shosei was uncomfortable with it at first but with time it was just something he got accustomed to. It became so frequent that being in Syoya’s already felt like breathing to him, and he can navigate the mansion probably even with his eyes closed. Often times he would have sleepovers there just because Syoya wanted to have a Studio Ghibli marathon or play some games, and by the next day they will arrive to school using Syoya’s personal service in pristine uniforms (Shosei fits Syoya’s size, so even with clothes they share)

Even at school people thought they were inseparable like twins, and it was just how it was for them.

Syoya had a younger brother, but he was too young for Syoya to get to relate to. It feels different with Shosei, whose birthday was just days apart from his and whose interests overlap with his. It felt like having a twin and a best friend at the same time and Syoya was grateful to have him in his life.

Oftentimes when they had sleep overs they played wishing games, and they would ask each other what they wished for. Syoya would always say that he wishes he and Shosei will be best friends forever, and Shosei would say the same. It felt like a much simpler time.

Things began to change around them as they grew up, with Shosei’s family struggling financially the more that Syoya’s dad becomes more successful with the family business they have. Oftentimes Syoya would spend time in the convenience store Shosei works at just to entertain him and spend time with him, because he had to do it or else the rent won’t pay itself. It doesn’t help that Shosei’s mom progressively got weaker over time, and she had to minimize her work. Shosei had to help with both rent and medical bills then. 

Syoya told him multiple times that he can ask his dad to help, but Shosei kept on turning him down. Shosei still had his pride, the only thing he has left, and it’s already embarrassing enough as it is that Syoya had to give him an offer like that so he can’t take it no matter how tempting it was. He was going to make it through there with his hard work, and that’s that. Syoya was just doing it out of the goodness of his heart, and hadn’t even thought about how Shosei might have felt with that offer. 

But even through all that they stayed friends, because nobody really gets Syoya as much as Shosei does and vice versa.

* * *

Syoya drags Shosei to the mall supposedly to do some shopping, just because Syoya felt like doing so. He promised to treat Shosei to something if he tags along, so the blond haired male does anyway. It’s a weekend, and Shosei usually has free time to lounge around once he has done his schoolwork and his shift doesn’t start until late at night. 

Throughout the drive he has noticed that Shosei was just on his phone, and every time Syoya peeks up on it the latter stops him and pushes him away jokingly. 

“Who are you talking to? Come on tell me!” Syoya urges as they sit in the back of the car. 

Shosei smiles and shakes his head, still keeping the phone near his chest in case Syoya peeks on it. 

“Recently you’ve been going out a lot and you’re not even telling me where you’re going… now you’re hiding messages from me… is this what I think it is?” Syoya tries to narrow down, and Shosei just smiles cheekily at him. 

Syoya did notice the recent change in the behavior of his friend, dressing up even extra nicely every time they meet up and he seems to be always distracted by something. He can’t spend much time with him anymore because Shosei would always tap out, saying he has to go somewhere. 

Shosei had told him he has had enough of Sukai and dating in general just recently, so he’s surprised Shosei is finally getting back up on his feet. 

“Oh my god I knew it, so who is it? Do I know him?” he perks up at the idea of his best friend potentially meeting up with someone, and he just _has to know_ who it is. “Does he go to our uni? Come on, spill.” 

“It’s nothing, it’s just… nothing too serious yet…” Shosei is shy as he says it and Syoya is overjoyed. “He’s a bit older than us so…” 

“That’s spicy…” Syoya teases him and Shosei chuckles. “He must be really hot then? Is he already working?” 

“Yeah he’s already working, he’s always busy…” 

“Now it makes perfect sense why you’re always off to somewhere!” Syoya almost hits his forehead in late realization. “How long have you been going out already?” 

“Just a couple of weeks, but I already knew him from before so it wasn’t like he was a stranger to me you know.” Shosei chuckles rather awkwardly, and Syoya cuddles up to him. 

“Okay, I won’t force you to tell me who if you’re not ready yet but just tell me when he begins making trouble and I’ll beat him up for you okay?” 

Shosei laughs. “I don’t think there’s a need…” 

“No, I’m serious! I’m happy for you, I hope he treats you well and good, if you know what I mean…” 

“Syoya!” Shosei exclaims.

“I’m just saying! You deserve to have it good. Have you guys done it already?” Syoya asks bluntly and Shosei almost goes red in the face. Syoya keeps on poking him on his side so he has no choice but to answer. 

“Well we’ve done it a couple of times…” 

Syoya hits him in the arm and then proceeds to shake him in excitement. Shosei tells him to calm down as he tries to awkwardly laugh, still embarrassed. 

“So how was it like at first…? Go on tell me!” 

Shosei rubs his nape as he tries to stall the time, as Syoya waits for him to tell. 

“Well it wasn’t much, we did it in a hotel because I can’t really do it at home as you know. I was a bit buzzed and I know he was drinking too, and it went exactly as I thought it would be. He was gentle though, and we stayed over until the morning and had breakfast. He then drove me home after. ” 

Syoya repeatedly hits him again in glee and Shosei blocks his hits as he laughs. 

“He sounds like a really nice person, I’m really happy for you Shosei.” Syoya says in all seriousness. “You deserve a nice guy.” 

Shosei smiles at him, and Syoya feels like a huge weight has been lifted off his chest for some reason. 

* * *

Shosei and Syoya might be inseparable to the bone and shared most things as they grew up, but if there was one thing that set them apart it would have to be their preference.

Sure, they both ended up liking boys but Syoya could never quite settle with a single person. He was easy to catch a crush and easy to fall in love quickly with someone that could be as simple as a smile to him. He knows he can get a boy to like him as fast as he can like them so it never was a struggle for him, considering also his looks and talents. He was also smart and good at performing, and had a pleasing personality. It was everything one could ever ask for and more, and so between the two of them it was Syoya who was more than liberated and easy going when it comes to relationships.

Shosei, on the other hand, was more committed. He wasn’t the type to fall in love easily neither fall out of it fast. So while Syoya moved from one guy to another, Shosei only had interest in one person only. Ever since they were younger Shosei had only liked Sukai, a quiet guy in their class who was also part of the karate team. Shosei remembers dragging Syoya around so they can watch his matches and even sometimes during practice when it allows. Syoya had urged him multiple times to say his feelings but Shosei never had the guts to do it, he was afraid that things might not work out the way he intended them to and might make Sukai even more uncomfortable. So as much as Shosei loved him, he only stayed within a distance, and couldn't quite close the gap.

It had been like that even as he passed high school to which they all attended the same school, and Shosei’s feelings grew even stronger. They still weren’t a part of the same social circle, but they were classmates and still got to interact for projects and other group activities. Shosei watched him and rooted for him from afar, and was happy that he at least gets to see Sukai succeed as he wins multiple medals for the school for being a black belter.

Syoya’s nagging didn’t stop as well, telling Shosei of ways on how to confess to Sukai. Every timing didn’t feel right however, and it was then that his mom had to stop working a lot and he had to work for them to at least get past day by day so thoughts of dating and love had to be temporarily sacrificed to focus on other things. Shosei never wavered though, even as they graduated and moved to college Shosei still felt the same. He gets to see Sukai on campus from time to time and sometimes if he was lucky and had spare time, he can watch him work in the library where he arranges books. Here they sometimes had small conversations about the books Shosei read, and some small talk about the weather but Shosei, even after years, felt as if he was back in middle school, shy and blanking out at the thought of just Sukai being near him. He can barely always hear the surroundings as the beating of his heart always overtook.

But basically, Syoya and Shosei loved differently.

* * *

Syoya goes home from class early, because one of his professors was not able to report to class. His younger brother is still definitely at school and it seems like his mom isn’t home either, otherwise he would have heard at least classical music playing in the background (something his mom enjoys listening to all the time.)

He sets his coat by the rack and finds a yellow one, sitting prettily on one of the hangers just beside his dad’s. He’d never seen this coat before, and he knows none of them owns that. Whoever is the owner of the coat has some galls to actually leave it there, right in front of everyone to see. Syoya feels like his stomach made a flip and his throat clogged, to which he shakes his head to snap out of it. His stomach does hurt now, like there are tiny pins piercing and pinching in the walls. He feels sick.

He has had suspicions of his dad cheating. 

It’s not something that was so blatant at first and Syoya would have never suspected, but then again it was his gut feeling and uneasiness that led him to a certain conclusion. 

Their dad was not a bad person, he’s a simple guy that pretty much does whatever he can to give his kids a good life. Aside from drinking occasionally (just like all adults do), Syoya doesn’t think he’d ever seen his dad get involved in vices like gambling or smoking. Syoya looked up to him a lot because he was hardworking and smart, and was thankful for him for letting him follow his dreams of being someone in the fashion industry instead of enforcing something on him. 

Yet, his behavior over the past few days had been suspicious for him, as he was always out of the house more than usual. Their dad preferred working from home mostly because of comfort and to have more time with his kids but that has been long gone now, with their dad always leaving mid meals for work emergencies that Syoya wonders what emergencies could his dad have as a CEO of a financial institution. Not only that, the out of town business trips had become so frequent that Syoya sometimes never gets to see him home during hours when he’s awake. 

He thinks that maybe his mom knows, as a son’s instinct, but he doesn’t have the heart to approach her because he isn’t sure of it himself. It would have been a big accusation that would lead to more problems if he just randomly threw it at that, and he doesn’t want that to happen. He doesn’t want his parents to fight either because of him. 

He passes by the living room and doesn’t find the person owning the coat there, and so he moves to the kitchen and the game room to no avail. He decides that whoever that person is would have definitely been in one of the rooms instead away from the naked eye, so he makes his way upstairs to the guest rooms when he passes by his dad’s work room by the end of the hallway. The door was shut but he thought he heard something faintly. He was never one to distract or meddle with his dad’s business, but this time it felt as if the room and the noise inside it was calling him. Syoya is not a kid anymore, he knows what sounds are bouncing off the walls and what activity could have possibly made that happen.

The closer he gets to the door the louder it becomes, and Syoya knows he can never unhear it. It’s lewd, unsettling, and Syoya realized. A deeper voice is grunting and a smaller voice is moaning as if there is no tomorrow. Moaning as if it wants to be heard.

He immediately scurries to his room, slamming the door shut behind him as he regains his composure. He takes in small breaths and shuts his eyes, as if stopping the tears from falling down. Except that he doesn’t feel the need to cry, and deep inside there are just a handful of emotions crashing through him and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. He debates on going back to (possibly) opening the door to the work room and confirms what he knows but as he sits in his bed to think, the door opens and Shosei has arrived, peeking through the door. 

He has a smile on his face as he still makes knocking sounds on the door and Syoya looks up at him. Immediately his face turns serious upon seeing Syoya’s expression. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Shosei asks in concern upon seeing the raven haired male.

Syoya shakes his head vigorously and Shosei closes the door after him, making his way to sit on the bed beside Syoya.

“What happened?” Shosei asks again and Syoya is trying hard not to burst into tears but still ends up crying. 

“I just heard… my dad… with someone… Mom’s not home so I know it’s not her…” Syoya tries to explain in between sobs and Shosei reaches out to pat him. 

“What did you hear? Maybe it was something else?” Shosei tries to reason out with him as he consoles him. 

“No I heard it, he was having sex with someone in his work room, I heard it… the voice is small and faint so I’m not sure… but I’ve always had this nagging feeling that there was something wrong… and I… I just can’t believe he would do that.” Syoya cries even more, trying to wipe the tears using the back of his hand. “I thought he loved our mom very much…” 

“Syoya I’m sorry about that…” Shosei pats him in the back and keeps him close in a hug. 

Syoya continues on crying for quite some time, feeling upset and betrayed. Shosei doesn’t say anything and just lets him cry, patting him on the back every now and then just to show to him that he cares. Syoya had never felt something like this before, and it’s so new to him that he feels overwhelmed from different thoughts that he can’t even control anymore. 

“He was nice to everyone you know that, and he never did anything bad and my mom never did anything bad either and neither did we so why would he do that…” Syoya starts again, hiccuping from all the crying. 

“Maybe there’s something else that we don’t know of that might lead him to doing that…?” Shosei trails and Syoya looks at him shortly. 

“Like what?” 

“I don’t know… I think most people that cheat on their partners do it because there’s something missing, and they tend to look for it on other people. Like you know, when you try to eat sushi to feel better?” Shosei explains, and Syoya is just staring at him. “Okay I’m not sure if that was the right analogy but not that I’m siding on anyone, I’m just saying we don’t know anything yet.”

Syoya nods, wiping his tears one more time and calming down. 

“You’re right. You’re right.” Syoya gets up from the bed to go to his vanity mirror, cleaning up. “He’s still so wrong for doing that though, and I can’t believe he even had the audacity to bring her home! I think the person even left her coat in the rack up front for everyone to see. What a fucking bitch.” Syoya cusses out in front of the mirror as he wipes his face with a wet tissue. 

“Do you think they’re still there? Should we confront them?” Shosei urges, and Syoya stops wiping his face to think. 

“No, no, I want more evidence. I can’t just go off and base it just on this one time incident because then my dad will find a way to possibly lie to us.” Syoya grits his teeth as he thinks about the idea of it. “I need more proof so when he tries to deny I’ll have him caught red handed for sure.” 

* * *

Being friends with Syoya has its ups and downs. 

Syoya is a really nice person. He’s studious and has good grades, sociable and generous to everyone. One of the major flaws he has is that having grown with privilege, he is oftentimes blissfully unaware and ignorant of many things. 

Shosei had been with him for the longest time, and has been subject to that for most of the time he spends with him. 

Sometimes, it’s little things that he gives a free pass just because it’s not that deep, and then there are times where Shosei has had to speak up on how ignorant Syoya’s action was or how offending it is, which will lead him to educating his friend. 

He knows Syoya is apologetic when he realizes that he indeed is wrong, and tries to make sure he doesn’t repeat the same mistake for the sake of moving forward.

He had always tried to keep up his patience for Syoya, because he was his friend. 

Yet, what Shosei didn’t know was that it will all roll downhill and his trust for him will backfire in a moment that he never expected. 

It was a Monday after a major frat party happened within the uni. Shosei wasn’t able to attend because he had to work a straight double shift as a favor, so he missed out on it. Syoya came though, and promised to tell him to keep him on the loop for whatever happens.

Syoya was off the grid over the weekend, and Shosei thought it was probably because he lost his phone or was sick. Usually Syoya gets sick after getting extremely wasted in a party due to his alcohol tolerance. That never stopped him from still going out either as he lived to interact with people. Shosei didn’t mind either, since he was also busy with his part time job in the store. 

When he met up with him that Monday, Syoya was just eating in the cafeteria alone as usual. 

“How was the party? You didn’t text me for days.” he says, setting down his book on the table. 

“It was fine, so and so. We’ve been to better parties before. Really boring that you’re not there though, you would have DJ-ed better.” Syoya says as he munches on his sushi. 

“Did anything happen in the party? Did you manage to get smashed at least?” he asks earnestly, and Syoya makes a frown.

“Hmm, not really.” Syoya says with his mouth full, chewing on the rice.

“ _Not really_ that you don’t remember because you’re drunk, or _not really_ that there was nothing at all?” Shosei asks. Syoya shakes his head, and Shosei knows that’s the most he’s getting out of him. 

“Damn, that bad? I told you not to drink too much or else you’ll black out.” Shosei scolds him in an _I told you so_ manner and Syoya just nods. 

“Yes mom, I’m sorry for overdrinking.” Syoya jokes and Shosei punches him in the arm as a joke. 

Syoya shares some of his fries to him even, and then scurries off to leave because he remembers he still hasn’t turned in a paper that was due. He doesn’t have much to do there anymore anyways, so he made his way to his next class and just right upon entering the hall some people were huddled over something. He’s not the one to gossip, so he ignores and goes to his usual seat when one of his classmates, Takumi, goes from his table to the one beside Shosei. 

“Hey Shosei.” Takumi calls as he slides into the seat beside him. 

“Hey to you too Takumi.” Shosei greets him, and Takumi turns to face him. 

“You’re friends with Sato Syoya right? With the dad who owns a bank?” 

“Yeah I’m friends with Syoya. Why? Do you need something from him or something?” 

“No, but have you seen the block group chat?” 

“I haven’t checked anything I left home… what’s up?” 

Takumi fishes his phone out from his pocket and taps quickly to something, and Shosei squints at first to see what it is Takumi was trying to show because it was blurry then until the camera seems to focus. 

There’s a group of people surrounding a couple making out in the center of the living room and there’s loud music blasting and a few more party goers thrashing around, but in the center of the video was someone who Shosei knows in a heartbeat is Syoya, grinding over someone while sitting on his lap with his top barely on him at this point and when the camera zooms in to the other person Shosei’s heart sinks as he sees Sukai taking his sweet time with Syoya, hands roving around him as people around them yell at them for practically almost having sex in the middle of the party.

“I heard there’s also a video of them actually getting caught having sex in one of the rooms, but I haven’t really seen it yet. Not that I want to, that’s between them. I just found it really violating.” Takumi talks to him but his eyes are still focused on the video playing. He thinks he’s going to cry, but he bites the inside of his cheek to stop himself from doing so. Not in there. 

“I wonder if he knows? He might get expelled if the faculty finds out about it.” 

“I… I don’t know.” he says, his voice coming out smaller than he intended it to be. 

“Oh. I think you should tell him though. I would have come up to him if we were only close, but I don’t think we’re at the same social levels to do that.” Takumi suggests, but Shosei is far long gone into actually coming up with a response to him. He doesn’t know whether to feel bad for Syoya first, or get mad at him or disappointed or upset. Maybe a little bit of all. 

* * *

“You’re leaving?” Syoya’s younger brother, Issei, asks their dad. He has his branded overnight bag on one hand and his phone on the other.

“Yeah buddy, dad has some business meetings to attend to. I’ll be back by Wednesday.” Their dad explains, giving Issei a ruffle on his head.

“That’s too long. Today’s just a Monday.” Issei whines, setting down the Kamen Rider toy from his hands to hug his dad.

“You only need to sleep two nights then before you know it, Dad’s back again. We’ll go have some fluffy pancakes when I come back, so be good okay?” Their dad assures and even with a pout Issei nods, understanding.

Syoya is sitting on the couch with his earphones on, pretending he’s not watching the entire exchange but their dad still catches up to him.

“Syoya, take care of your mom and brother while I’m away okay?” he asks of him, and Syoya gives a small nod.

His dad takes his car keys from the bowl and proceeds to exit through the side door leading to the garage, and when Syoya knows he’s already out of sight he prepares to go. Issei widens his eyes at him and he reciprocates, telling him to quiet down.

He follows his dad around, making sure that the taxi he booked was able to catch the car his dad was driving and yet maintain a distance where it doesn’t look suspicious. Usually, if their dad was going out of the country for a business trip he would have their driver take him to the airport so the car can be driven home. But the fact that his dad was driving on his own meant that he wasn’t going anywhere far, and Syoya, for the love of him, needed to see. It wasn’t because of the desire to catch him, he was already caught anyway. Exposed without him even knowing. Syoya feels as if he’s been trying to follow and see because he wants his dad to prove him wrong, to show to him that he’s not as bad as what he thinks he is. 

Hell, maybe he’s just being paranoid and his dad wasn’t really lying. 

Syoya never leaves his eyes on the road as they continue, making sure to focus on his dad’s car. It stops in front of a waiting shed and there’s someone standing, just waiting and reacting when his dad’s car stops in front of it. The person is wearing a hoodie and a mask on, but Syoya can make out that it’s not a figure of a girl. Even from where he’s sitting and the dark night out he can make out a bit of the blond hair peeking as the person moves to open the door and get in the car. After the person gets in, they immediately speed off, and Syoya tells the driver to catch up.

There’s an unsettling feeling brewing on his stomach, and the feeling of familiarity with the person he saw get in his dad’s car. 

His dad’s car kept on driving until it entered a familiar area, and Syoya had been here several times to know. There was a specific hotel and country club that his dad was a member of, and it was those types of hotels that provided strict nondisclosure to whatever happens in it.

Syoya pays the cab and walks towards the entrance, making sure he isn’t seen or suspected of. From where he’s hiding he can see the person getting out of the car and his dad gives the keys to the valet. The person puts his hoodie down and Syoya feels faint as he sees Shosei, now with his blond hair and bare face exposed without a mask on, fixing his hair, and waiting for his dad before they walk to the hotel entrance. Syoya swears he can see Shosei link his arms around the older male’s, and from his view he can see Shosei acting clingy, going as far as buying his face on his dad’s neck while they’re talking to the receptionist.

Syoya can only go as far as the entrance and only a certain period of which he can’t be detected, but even in that short time as he sees his dad walk away with Shosei in tow, far too close for people to not think that there is something with them, he feels as if he would just rather combust into flames on the spot and die. 

* * *

Syoya was flat out lying when he said that nothing happened. 

Syoya can’t say it’s not him because Shosei knows that was what he wore, Shosei helped pick out his clothes for that night. 

Syoya knew the entire time that he liked Sukai ever since. Syoya was the one that always pushed him to go to the taller man, urging him to confess and give him chocolates for valentines and get his affection.

Syoya may be insensitive at times and ignorant and aloof, but Shosei knew that Syoya knew what he did and was deliberately not telling him the truth. It infuriated him so much to the point that he felt sick knowing that Syoya knew all that and yet still went for Sukai. It was unfair of him, and wrong. It was as if Syoya had stabbed him with a knife without him even knowing, and the fact that almost everyone around them knew what had happened in that party except him was humiliating at most. 

The fact that during that entire day people had come up to him knowing he was Syoya’s friend and kept on talking to him about it as if being’s Syoya’s friend is his only trait was embarrassing and annoying to go through. People showing him more videos and pictures of them even if he never asked, and getting more information unprompted along with the “ _Oh you didn’t knew?”_ rang through his head like a school bell. 

Yes, he was a loser for being the last person in the entire damn world to know the person he liked the most ever since he was young and his best friend had sex, and there was actual proof of it. 

He waited for Syoya though. He wasn’t going to confront him yet, he wanted it to all come from the other boy instead. He kept bringing it up several times but to no avail, Syoya still ran the same narrative and the same things he said to him during the first day. He never told Syoya about the video, but if Syoya knew his videos were circulating then he probably would have connected the dots. 

He was still waiting for him to make a slip up, or a crack at least. He never really wanted it to come from some stranger that didn’t know them, he wanted Syoya to come up front. 

He wasn’t able to get it until one afternoon they were just walking by the campus grounds and Sukai approached the two of them. Shosei is annoyed at how his breathing still quickens when Sukai is around and how he can feel ringing in his ears. 

Sukai making a beeline for them wasn’t for him though, as Sukai stood in front of Syoya to block his way and told him to at least call him back if he’s not going to reply to his messages, and Shosei had been red in mortification as he stood there dumbly throughout the whole exchange. 

He had never felt so small and invisible in his entire life, and even as Syoya shooed him away, all Sukai did was give him a nod and then leaves to catch up with his buddies. 

They walk in silence, with Shosei counting in his head to breathe and calm himself down but it wasn’t working, not at all and he finds himself stopping in his tracks.

“Since when have you two been on calling terms?” Shosei is aghast, voice raising a little. 

Syoya bites his lip, and Shosei knows that he can’t finally escape it now. 

“We might have… uh… in the party…” 

“Syoya just say it.” Shosei is almost at the brink of tears, and Syoya sighs.

“Fine, we might have made out in that frat party that one week. But that’s only because he was drunk and I was super drunk too and things just got out of hand, but after that you see I never talked to him anymore so it wasn’t really anything serious…” Syoya spoke a mile a minute and was stumbling through it, and Shosei ran his fingers through his hair. 

“So now that’s why he’s asking you to call him back?” Shosei raises his voice at him, and Syoya can’t even speak a word. 

Shosei is hurt and dumbfounded, and more so embarrassed at the fact that not only did Syoya lied to him, but threw away their friendship just like that. 

“You knew I liked him! We promised each other we’ll never get involved in each other's affairs may it be exes or crushes!” Shosei yells at him in the parking lot, tears rolling down his face in frustration. He promised himself that he will try not to, but eventually it still all came down as he lashed out. 

“I’m sorry! Okay! It was a one time thing and I told you it’s not even that serious!” Syoya yells back at him and he sobs there mouth agape at him. Syoya realizes he had raised his voice and tries again. “I’m sorry. Shosei, come on.” Syoya tries to tug at his arm and Shosei looks to the distance, hiccuping as he cries. “It’s not happening anymore okay. We aren’t a thing.” 

Syoya tries to convince him and Shosei knows that voice, as he had watched Syoya pull off that act a million times already. 

“Don’t touch me.” he shakes Syoya’s hand from his arm and wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. “You know what, whatever.” he sighs out as he begins walking away and Syoya tries to catch up to him. “You can go home alone, I forgot I left my books in one of the lecture halls.” he lies as he turns his back on him walking towards the campus. 

“Shosei! Shosei come on! Let’s at least talk this out more!” Syoya calls for him, and he stops in his tracks, facing him. 

“You missed that opportunity to talk to me more about it when you lied to my face that Monday!” he yells back at him and then stomps off without even saying a word again or looking back. 

Shosei felt so broken and tired to the point that he found himself immediately falling to his feet the moment he entered an empty lecture hall. He felt pathetic, and he had gone through a lot to have actual chances to feel that emotion and yet it was Syoya’s betrayal that hurt him the most.

* * *

Syoya is appalled and amazed at how his dad can give a straight face at home. 

He comes and goes, having more business trips than usual and Syoya scoffs everytime he thinks about how Shosei is  _ the _ aforementioned trip. Syoya can see his mom try to hide her alcohol from them, but Syoya knows she must have been drinking a lot to sleep. The family that used to hold their head up so high and mighty had hollowed out from their own home, and Syoya lies awake at night thinking about it. 

Shosei is over their household more often than not now, and nobody even bats an eye because Shosei can come and go easily in their house as if he’s family. He was there for more than half of his life more than his own home. His mom treated him as if he was her son too and fed him food. Now he is not only sharing all of his possessions with Shosei, even his own father as well and not in the way that Syoya wanted it to be. 

“You’re home early.” Shosei says from where he’s plopped down on his bed, reading through one of Syoya’s fashion catalogues when Syoya enters his room. 

“I didn’t have Econ today.” He simply says, trying to be as calm as possible. He hasn’t had time to actually confront neither his dad or Shosei about what he knows, and he wouldn’t admit it to anyone but no matter how much of a strong front he puts up there is still a part of him that is very much scared of what might happen. 

“Oh that’s nice. I had some extra time today so I dropped by.” Shosei says, turning around to lie on his back and from where his shirt rides to his stomach, Syoya can see marks of red littered around.  _ Hickeys,  _ and there’s even some on his neck where it’s really visible to anyone who at least makes one look at him. 

It seemed pretty new too, just blooming. 

Shosei knows he has that, and he’s making sure Syoya sees it.

“Don’t you have work today?” The tone of his voice came off annoyed just as how it played in his head, and Shosei makes a thinking sound.

“Nope, it’s not yet until later. I just came by because I wanted to see my best friend, and it turns out you weren’t home yet.” Shosei sounds sad at this point. “Your dad gave me something to eat while waiting though.” The blond drags out his words, making the sentence slower than it should have been and something grinds in Syoya’s veins, something bubbles up in him. 

“Anyway, I also brought some of my prints. Remember when we had that photoshoot a few months back with the disposable camera? I was able to finish the rolls only recently so I just got the photos.” Shosei excitedly fishes for something on his bag on the floor and Syoya sits in front of his mirror, pretending to be clearing his face off of makeup. 

Shosei hands him the stack, and Syoya finds himself flipping through it. 

There’s photos of him posing alone in various clothing, and then with Shosei as they pose on the street for the effect, and a bit more of random things. They’re really pretty, Syoya can’t deny that, but something from the stack catches his attention. 

It’s a bit out of focus and motion blurred, but in the photo you can see Shosei blissed out, eyes closed and mouth agape, as someone seems to be on top of him, and the back of the man on top is bare and only his nape up can be seen as he buries his face on Shosei’s neck. It’s very sexual, and Syoya feels sick as he realizes who it is. His stomach immediately turns in on itself as he shuffles the photos and finds a few more of it, in different angles yet the same thing. 

“Do you like it? You came out really well in the photos.” Shosei asks, sitting back on the bed again. He sees the photos Syoya is staring at and smiles. “Oh those are my favorite prints. You can keep all of it, I have my own copies.” 

“I don’t feel so well today, can you leave?” It’s blunt and rude, and Shosei immediately frowns.

“Fine, I wasn’t going to stay long in here anyway, this room stinks of liars.” Shosei says, scrunching his nose as he picks up his bag from the floor and slams the door behind him.

Syoya screams, out of anger as he throws the photos away from his hands and shoves everything on the vanity table to the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It gets worse.

After a couple of days of ignoring Syoya because of the whole Sukai fiasco, he was already willing to let it go. He had begun talking to him again and was ready to just throw it all aside. No man was worth their friendship right? 

But Syoya still kept on lying. He had initially told Shosei that nothing happened between him and Sukai, but someone else had told Shosei that there was indeed more than just making out that had happened. Syoya still kept constant communication with Sukai even after having the confrontation with Shosei and the blond couldn’t grasp why Syoya can’t just say it to his face directly. 

Had Syoya told him the truth from the very beginning, intentional or not, that there was something between him and Sukai—Shosei might have accepted that. Shosei values their friendship more than anything else in the entire world and he would have probably told him that he can get over it if Syoya really wants him. He was already willing to make the giveaway. 

But Syoya kept on hiding stuff from him and lying and it broke Shosei too much to the point that he doesn’t know whether Syoya is telling him the truth or not, or whether their friendship still mattered to him or not. But clearly somewhere along the way Syoya did not care for it, but he crossed the line that he promised never to. 

Shosei felt that it was unfair that he was the only one left damaged and hurt. It might have sounded like a simple problem but it was something that hurt him genuinely, and now he doesn’t know how Syoya can even fix it back because he doesn’t feel the sincerity anymore. 

Syoya always jumped from one man to another, so it would be hard for Shosei to break even with that. He’s not the type of person to jump from one to another either, so it wasn’t a good plan. 

There was however, one man that Syoya will move mountains for if given the chance. 

Sato Keigo is a man in his early 40s, but he might as well be in his early 30s with the way he looks. Shosei had grown up with Syoya and had heard people talk of the visuals of this man over and over again. He really was quite attractive, and most people liked how charming and nice he was. 

Born from a rich family, he had quite the luxurious genes in him that he so inherently passed down to his two sons as well. He was the heir of a rich clan who owned various big businesses in different industries, and the one he was being accounted for at the moment was their business and finance sector. He was a loving father and husband, and yet Shosei is surprised at how easy it was to break into him. 

He didn’t even have to try hard. He just kept up with Syoya under the pretense that he already forgave him, accepting Syoya’s pathetic excuse of an apology even when Shosei knows Syoya still hasn’t stopped communicating with Sukai and is hiding it from him for some reason. 

He spent more time in the Sato household. Nobody kicks him out or bats an eyelash when he’s there because he’s Shosei and he’s just always welcome there. 

One night when he was sleeping over he was about to grab something from the fridge when he stumbled upon an open work room, and Shosei, with all of his curiosity, sneaked a peek in. 

“Shosei,” Keigo looks up from his laptop, eyeglasses reflecting the screen. “Can’t sleep?” 

“Yeah, I don’t know but I just don’t feel sleepy yet.” he says coyly, and Keigo motions for him to sit on the couch just adjacent to the table. “How about you Mr. Sato? Why are you still up so late?” 

Keigo chuckles a little at the name. 

“There are some things I just need to wrap up with work, so I’m still up.” 

“Oh, if you’re really busy that’s fine I won’t bother you too much—” he tries to get up from the couch but Keigo shakes it head. 

“No it’s fine, don’t worry.” 

They stay silent for a couple of minutes, with only the sound of the light taps on the keyboard resonating in the room. Shosei looks around and takes in the interior of the room, and then focuses on Keigo’s features. He’s not that bad, with the way the lamp light focuses on his features. He does look extremely young for his age that he would pass off as Syoya’s older brother probably. The reading glasses perched atop of the bridge of his nose completes the look, and Shosei finds himself shifting uncomfortably in his spot. 

“Do you drink?” Keigo looks up from his laptop to ask him, sliding his chair to get something from one of the shelves. 

“Only just a little.” He says shyly. “Why do you ask?” 

“Well I’ve never really seen Syoya drink, so I’m not sure if you do—and you seem nicer than that brat.” Keigo laughs as he pours a drink for him and he gets up to accept. 

Shosei drinks the alcohol strong in one go, and makes a hissing sound as it burns his throat. It’s good and it tastes rich, probably something expensive. Keigo laughs at his reaction. 

One shot turned to another, and then another one, and it comes down to the point that Shosei does begin feeling sleepy. He’s laughing with Keigo over some joke that he musters out or something, Shosei can’t really remember, and then the next second he finds himself slipping out of his consciousness. 

The next day that he wakes up he finds himself tucked in the couch with a blanket, that Keigo had obviously prepared for him. He goes downstairs and finds the family eating breakfast. Syoya asks him where he had been and lies about falling asleep in one of the extra rooms. He looks up to see how Keigo will react to his lie but the older man is unfazed, chewing on his bread. 

He gets along well with every member in the house. Mrs. Sato adores him, making sure that whenever she gets something for her boys Shosei also has it too. Issei treats him respectfully, almost like an older brother and they get along well when they talk about the anime shows Issei enjoys. Keigo is nice to him, just as how he is to everyone but Shosei makes sure that he goes the extra mile in making Keigo feel as if he is nice and good, and not in a way that most people would look at him for. 

He dresses up nicely when he’s over, sometimes wearing something too thin for comfort. He makes sure to complement Keigo all the time and makes sure he relates to him and the stories he tells. Syoya is almost always busy with something as he’s a fashion major, so Keigo barely gets to have any conversation with his son oftentimes that he’s not busy. Shosei tries to fill those gaps, asking Keigo about what he’s doing or if he can teach him this or that so they can do it together, and spending more time than ever. 

He has noticed that most of the time Syoya’s mom isn’t interested with what her husband has to hear, and that’s when Shosei finds a leeway to insert himself into the cracks. It’s not that too hard to assimilate, he just has to be attentive to what Keigo is talking about and act like he cares. 

It even comes to a point that he gets invited to play golf with him, because Syoya had to finish working on his project that’s up for submission. Shosei comes in with appropriate attire and Keigo drives them to the course, allowing him to use Keigo’s equipment. 

“My wife and I used to come here, but she’s not interested in playing. She would rather sit by the bar and catch up with her country club member friends and Syoya isn’t good at playing either.” Keigo shares lightly as he parks the cart near one of the holes. “—and well, Issei is too young.” 

“You should have invited me then, I don’t know how to play but I’m more than willing to learn and accompany.” Shosei smiles at him. 

He asks him to teach him how to hold the club and swing properly, and with their height difference Shosei finds himself enclosed in a hug by the older man. He deliberately leans in more, closing a bit of the gap and making himself comfortable in his touch. Keigo is holding both his hands as he motions it to swing the club back and forth, and Shosei could feel his breath. It feels very intimate, and Shosei can feel the area feel extra warm even if the sky was just clear and refreshing. 

Keigo clears his throat, realizing the position that they’re at and he pretends shy, swinging the club for practice on his own. 

The entirety of the day was tension filled, just as how Shosei wanted it to happen. He tries to tip Keigo over the edge, leaning in closer when he can and playing coy. It was fun, he never thought that it would be this easy to get impure thoughts on the older’s head just by moving here and there, and making unnecessary contact that riles the older up. 

He would touch him here and there, and sometimes let him place his hands on him  _ unintentionally _ . He tries to sneak at how Keigo would react but his face isn’t giving anything away. 

It was late when Keigo called it a day, packing up for them and driving them back to the place. It’s silent in the drive back, and Shosei asks if he can turn the radio on or at least connect his phone. He plays a chill song and he can see Keigo’s shoulders unwind, finally after a long day. He had been surprisingly stiff and tensed up, and Shosei knows why. 

“I had a really fun day today, Mr. Sato.” he says, smiling at him through his peripheral vision.

“I’m glad you had fun. You’re a fast learner, I had to give you that.” the older male adds, and Shosei feels satisfied. 

“We should try it again next time, maybe we can bring Syoya along too. It would be fun.” 

“Sure, why not.” 

“You were so tense today though, Mr. Sato. I’m no professional player! I’m no competition.” he teases, and Keigo smiles a wry one at him. 

“No it’s not about that—” he cuts himself off. 

“It’s about what then?” Shosei urges, and Keigo shakes his head.

“No it’s just nothing, I was just thinking about some things.” 

“About work?”

“Not really.” Keigo sighs, and Shosei puts his best foot forward. 

“If you want, you can always talk to me. A lot of people say I’m a good listener and I give really good advice.” he says, toying with him. 

“You do seem to be a good person, Shosei.” 

“I  _ am _ a good person.” he boasts, and Keigo gives him a quick look. 

“Sure.”

“I swear, you can talk to me about anything. We can do anything you want. I don’t mind. It doesn’t matter what my age is, I think we get along well.” 

Keigo looks like he’s about to say something as he looks at him, and Shosei sits there breathing through his mouth waiting for him to speak up or do something. Keigo doesn’t though and continues to focus on his driving, and Shosei thinks back on what he said. 

When they have arrived and the car is parked in the garage properly, Shosei pulls Keigo back and gives him a hug. He buries his face onto his chest and neck, making it long enough for it to mean something else. Rubs his face on him a few times, and then looks up at him to maintain eye contact. 

It’s wordless, and before Keigo can speak up Shosei pulls away and leaves before him, skipping his way back to the house. 

* * *

That afternoon Shosei is yet again in their place. Syoya was studying for his finals in his room, and Issei was at school. His mom had left for a function and won’t be back until midnight. Syoya only finds out the presence of the blond boy when he was supposed to get a glass of water and finds Shosei practically on top of Keigo, languidly making out on the couch as Keigo roams his hands on him. Syoya drops his phone and it makes a loud thud, making Keigo aware of his presence there. Keigo scrambles to get Shosei to stop at least but Shosei grinds into him, calming him down. 

“Syoya…” Keigo starts but Shosei shushes him. 

“Let him be, he’s not going to tell anybody.” Shosei breathes through his kisses, and leans closer to nibble on Keigo’s jaw. “Right Syoya?” 

Syoya wants to tell Shosei otherwise but the blond haired male was right, and so he stood there stunned in silence as Shosei made his ways on his dad. 

He wanted to pull them apart and yell at them and scream at them to fuck off and away from his sight but he is too in shock to move, let alone react. 

“Shosei. Enough.” Keigo taps out and Shosei lifts his head up, lips glistening and annoyed that he was interrupted because of Syoya. 

Keigo stands up from where they sat on the couch, and stands in front of Syoya, getting to his eye level. 

“Syoya, you can’t tell anybody about this. Not even your mother.” Keigo tells him, and he finally snaps out of his senses. 

“You’re cheating on her.” he says, simply stating what was in front of him and feeling sick about what he had seen.

“But you can’t tell anyone Syoya. Do you realize what could possibly happen?” Keigo grits through his teeth and it's the only time Syoya had ever seen him like that.

“ _ You _ could have thought about that first before doing—” he motions and gestures at Shosei “—him or that or whatever this is!” 

“You don’t _ understand _ Syoya—” 

“Tell me dad, what do I not understand? That you’re cheating? That you’re cheating on my mom with a twenty something college boy? That’s my best friend dad! What the hell were you thinking!” Syoya says, incredulous only to get interrupted by Shosei. 

“Actually we stopped being best friends the moment you threw away  _ our  _ friendship and had no regard whatsoever for my feelings.” Shosei says as a matter of fact and Syoya breathes heavily, trying to come up with a response. 

“—and your dad’s right Syoya, you will never understand. You don’t know how much of an unhappy marriage your parents have. You don’t know how I’m the only one he has on his side that understands him, that makes him feel the way he wants to. I can give him things that no one else can.” Shosei practically slaps him in the face with his words, and he wants nothing more than to crawl back to a hole under the floor and evaporate. 

“Syoya.” His dad calls him again, the tone is different this time. “You  _ can’t  _ tell anyone.” 

Syoya feels hot tears falling down in frustration, because how is it that his dad was doing the wrong thing and yet it feels as if he was in the wrong for catching them? 

Syoya doesn’t know what to think, and he always thought he was pretty smart for his own good but right now in front of his dad and his best friend he felt so dumb and stupid. 

When he had retreated to his room, Shosei drops by,  _ the _ yellow coat on one hand. He’s about to leave. 

“I already know for a fact that outside of these walls you will never tell a single soul, because how embarrassing would that be for you?” Shosei says, leaning on the doorframe. 

“Sato Syoya, the perfect boy with the rich perfect family and good grades and all the boys he wants in the world. How would the people around you think when they find out not only was this all a fraud, but also your dad is fucking your best friend?” 

“Go away.” he almost spits at him out of disgust. 

“Oh I was going to leave already, don ‘t worry. I just wanted to give you some food for thought.” Shosei lifted his coat to his line of vision and gave him a little wave before closing the door after him. 

* * *

Shosei knows it won’t take long until he has Keigo wrapped around his finger. 

After the previous time that they hugged, he thought that Keigo would draw back and begin avoiding him, but it turns out that that man is better than what he is giving him credit for. Keigo acts as if nothing happened, still treating him the same as before but the only slight difference was that he’s being more open towards him, actively engaging him in even more conversation when he’s around. 

They would talk about everything and nothing, and Shosei really doesn’t mind. He always thought there’s always something to learn from adults anyway, so he just sits there prettily and listens to him excitedly talk about something. He thinks about how sad Keigo must have been leading a life, because he never had seen the older man act like this before. 

There were often times that Keigo would invite him for lunch outside, in some restaurant or cafe and those were the times that he would usually turn down Syoya when the raven haired male wanted to hang out with him. Being with Syoya irks him the more he can see Syoya is still sending messages and meeting up with Sukai behind his back, and hearing rumors from here and there about how they’re dating or what not. 

Shosei has gone on dates here and there, usually just to chaperone Syoya who goes out with a guy that has a friend that wants to tag along, but they never went successful always because they were either annoying the hell out of Shosei or it felt as if they were lowballing him. Keigo was different though, probably because Shosei wanted to make this work and he was older. The vibes he gave were different and Shosei felt as if he was being taken care of all the time, which he didn’t mind. 

Shosei was just waiting for the right timing to land it in. He already had Keigo’s interest and his eyes are on him now, all he has to do is cast and wait for Keigo to see the bait so when the time comes he will easily pull up the line. 

The opportunity rises in itself when he’s over at the Sato’s residence, having a simple dinner celebration because Issei’s report cards came out and he aced all of his classes. By simple it meant that they had more food whose prices would easily pay for Shosei’s tuition, and Syoya had invited him to come over and eat just because. Keigo had invited him too, but no one else knows that. 

There was nothing too special with what happened, they all ate and Issei told stories about his friends at school and Keigo praises his son and keeps the table lively. Even Syoya is in a good mood from what he can see, and throughout the dinner he can’t help but notice that Keigo keeps on giving him glances when everyone else is busy with their food. He pretends he doesn’t notice and focuses on his food, and even goes as far as volunteering to help out with the dishes once they’re done.

“No need for that Shosei,” Mrs. Sato tells him but he shakes his head. 

“It’s fine Mrs. Sato! I can help out.” he says with a smile as he proceeds to the kitchen after helping clear up the tables. Syoya is entertaining Issei with a game, and as he applies his apron to help with the dishes he can feel someone help him tie it from the back. He turns his head to see Keigo close to him, tying the knot behind him so the apron doesn’t slip. 

They fall into a comfortable silence washing the dishes, and Shosei can feel the tension in the air. Keigo had been eyeing him all night and now they’re just left alone, but it’s still too open for anyone to talk about anything without being caught. 

He’s momentarily lost his focus so a plate ends up slipping from his hand, cutting him when he tried picking it up. Immediately the blood flows out and Keigo is quick, setting aside what he had to hold out Shosei’s hand against the running water. He looks around for a clean cloth and tells Shosei to hold on to it, leading him to his work room for the first aid kit. 

Keigo tells him to sit down as he looks for the box, finding it perched on one of the shelves and he sets it down on the small coffee table just in front of the sofa. He sits beside him, taking the bloodied cloth from his grip to inspect the wound and clean it. The cut hurts like a bitch, but it’s nothing Shosei can’t stand. The immediate response that Keigo give however was unbelievable, quickly coming up with what to do.

It stings when Keigo is applying the medicine, and he ends up unconsciously hissing. 

“I’ll be gentle.” Keigo says as he dabs on the wound lighter. 

He quickly wraps up the wound, using a gauze to roll on it tight so the cut will close in on itself. 

“You have to be more careful next time.” Keigo scolds him a bit as he tucks the end of the gauze, and at this point there is barely a gap between them as Keigo had scooted closer to attend to the wound better. Shosei can feel Keigo’s breathing and before one of them can even say anything they’re already kissing, hot and fervent as if they would pass out if they don’t lock lips with each other. 

Something snaps Keigo out of his heated feeling and he withdraws back, panting and looking at Shosei. 

“No, Shosei… we can’t…” he tries to formulate a sentence but Shosei already knows what it meant. He gives a sharp exhale and looks down on his hand. 

“Oh… I thought that…” he starts off, trying to sound as sad as he can. 

“I’m sorry Shosei.” Keigo does sound apologetic.

“No it’s fine I understand. I’m sorry too Mr. Sato.” he says, trying to choke up on his words then making a way to leave the room as fast as he can. 

He bids Syoya goodbye, saying he accidentally cut his hand and to not worry because he already got treatment and he’ll just be going to his part time job. He bids Mrs. Sato goodbye as well but makes sure Keigo doesn’t get it so he will be forced to think about their relationship. 

* * *

Syoya goes home from uni, tired from submitting his reports when he spots the yellow coat in the rack again by the front door. He sighs, looking around if anybody else is in the house. His mother seems to be gone again, far too often recently if Syoya may speak up on it. It’s just a little past 3pm, so he’s sure Issei isn’t home as well.

Expecting to see Shosei somewhere near his father again, he was surprised to find the latter just sitting by the kitchen island, eating something. Something about how he sits in there and eats, like he owns the place, unnerves Syoya, until he realizes that he gave him that power long ago. 

“Can we talk?” he asks the blond haired male, crossing his arms in front of him. 

“We’re already talking.” Shosei rolls his eyes as if it's a matter of fact. 

“I want you to stop,  _ this _ , whatever you’re doing.” Syoya asks of him. 

“You can’t tell me what to do.” 

“Shosei. You’re—” Syoya is thinking of how he can phrase it to Shosei without him feeling absolutely horrified at the words and fails. “You’re doing all of  _ this _ and it has gone way too far. Think of my mom and my brother.”

“I don’t think it has gone way too far, we’ve only done it at least one, two, three—” Shosei pretends to count with both of his fingers until he shakes his head. “—well you get the point. We still have more to go, and I actually enjoy being with him. Or under him. Or on top of him.” 

“What do you want from him? What do you want from me? I can call Sukai and if you want I can set you up with him, just stay away from my dad.”

Shosei makes a sound that crosses between a scoff and a chuckle, as if in complete disbelief. 

“Oh fuck off Syoya. Now you’re throwing me your leftovers?” Shosei is upset and in rage, absolutely insulted by the words that came out of Syoya’s mouth. “You’re now tired and done with Sukai finally so you’re offering him to me? How fucking dare you.” 

“Wasn’t this what all this was about? You were jealous that I got to be with Sukai first than you did after all this time.” Syoya spits at him and every word feels as if a ruler is being slapped on Shosei’s hand. 

Shosei sets down the thing he was holding, the bowl clanking on the counter as he turns fully to the raven haired male. 

“Do you even hear yourself right now Syoya? It’s not about that.” Shosei grits his teeth, knowing that Syoya is still so unaware of how much he broke him. 

“Then what was it? Was it because we fucked? You know that means nothing to me—” 

“If it means nothing to you then why are you still hooking up with him now? Even when you told me multiple times that it meant nothing, you weren’t in contact anymore and you were supposed to be telling me the truth? But it was just one lie after another, over and over Syoya and I’m sick and tired of it.” he practically almost yells at him, as if doing it will get his point straight across Syoya’s head. 

“Shosei—”

“No, just because I’m not as good as you, or as rich or pretty as you, or just because we’ve been friends long enough that you know I will forgive you—all of those doesn’t make you qualified to treat me like a lower person.” 

“I’ve never looked at you like that at all—” 

“Oh really? It doesn’t seem like that to me!” 

“Well if you feel inferior between the two of us, that’s not my problem. It’s not my fault you feel that or whatever—” 

Shosei wants to throw everything on the table in anger.

“First of all, fuck you Syoya. I never know you’d be this type of person but that’s on me for always trying to let you get away with everything. Second of all, you didn’t even get the point! I doubt that when you walk out of here—just like you always do when you know you’re losing a fight—you’ll even remember what I told you. You’ll only remember the bits you want to, and then feel all victimized and sad about how pitiful you are, and completely ignoring accountability for your actions.” 

Shosei gets up from where he’s sitting and stands in front of Shosei, levelling eye to eye. 

“So no, you can’t expect me to stop what I’m doing, not until you finally realize what you did wrong.” Shosei takes one step closer, leaning in just a little bit to whisper to Syoya. “—and it’s not like I hate what I’m doing, your dad feels really good inside of me.” 

Syoya slaps him in the face, hard and Shosei cradles the cheek that received the impact. 

“Can’t say anything that you’ve resorted to cheap tricks?” Shosei scoffs at it, and Syoya is so enraged that he feels his nails dig into his palm as he clenches his fist. 

Syoya knows Shosei is right. He can’t say anything back because it won’t be as good as any, and he will end up leaving just to save face. 

“I’ll leave first, just to save a little bit of your pride because I’m nice like that.” Shosei attempts to give him a pat on the shoulder but he pushes his hand away and Shosei waves at him as he retreats to the hallway. 

* * *

Shosei tries to keep distance with Keigo even though he is generally in the house half the time, just as a treat to tease him. 

When he sees Keigo coming to approach he shies away and pretends he’s doing something else or that he’s busy to accommodate him, any possible excuse. He doesn’t text him at all, neither call, just to make sure that he’s  _ respecting _ Keigo’s decision that night to push him away when they kissed. 

Shosei had anticipated this more or less, so he had tried to come up with alternative scenarios if Keigo doesn’t react to the entire thing like he initially intended it to be. He still had backup plans on how he could torment Syoya until the latter realizes where he went wrong. People might think he had gone so far with what he had in mind, but then he thinks of how he had always put up with everything Syoya does and makes him feel just because they’re friends. A label it was that felt as if he was morally tied to it, and Shosei had never even given it much thought until recently. 

Keigo’s birthday is approaching in a few days' time then and Shosei still refuses to interact with him the way he used to. He does greet and is forced to make small talk when Syoya or Mrs. Sato are looking so the sudden change in interaction isn’t noticeable but other than that he just went on his merry way to spend more time with Syoya. 

The raven haired male is jumpy whenever he would try to come up to him surprisingly, as if he was trying to hide something. This is how Shosei suspects that he was still keeping in touch with Sukai behind his back, and the shorter male still hasn’t had the audacity to even at least come clean to him. 

He pretends he’s oblivious anyways, trying to act as if the issue that blew up between them was already water under the bridge, tricking Syoya into a false sense of security. Syoya seems to be buying into it, becoming more and more relaxed as time passed by. He can feel Syoya try to fix back what they had and act the same as before but Shosei personally feels unenthusiastic the more he does it, as it feels like the rose colored lenses have been knocked out from his eyes and he is now seeing their friendship (or what it’s supposed to be) in plain eyesight. 

Syoya kept him around because he needed a friend that only he could call his own, that he can play into his own hands and tied into a leash using a favor bank. Shosei stayed because he was his friend, and that’s what friends are expectedly supposed to do. Being friends with him was fun and had its perks but as time passed it felt more of a responsibility and obligation for him rather than something he genuinely enjoyed. 

Eventually, the date of Keigo’s extravagant birthday party has arrived. Syoya brings him whether he likes it or not, and he wouldn’t tell anyone but Keigo invited him as well. 

He comes in wearing a light pink suit with his hair fluffed up to be a bit curly than usual. He applies makeup upon Syoya’s insistence (and practicing on him) and it turned out to be not as bad as he thought it would. 

He worked his way towards the party, and usually Shosei isn’t fond of these things because it felt pretentious for him but he was here for a reason, and it seems to be working even as if he hadn’t done anything yet except arrive. Keigo keeps following him with his eyes, despite trying to pretend he isn’t looking when Shosei catches him. It’s like that one dinner at the house again and there’s the palpable tension between them. 

Keigo is always surrounded by his businessmen friends so he never gets the chance to come up to him but the more time passed and Keigo had gone through everyone, he finally had the chance to go up to Syoya and Shosei enjoying their champagnes by the table. Issei is sitting with them in his dapper suit, bored from the happenings. Keigo sits beside them and asks for his own suit as well and Shosei takes a drink in order to avoid talking. 

“You boys having fun over here?” Keigo asks and Shosei nods as well as Syoya. 

“We’re fine dad, just enjoying the food and stuff. You go enjoy your party with your friends and don’t think about me and Issei!” Syoya urges him and Keigo gives him a pat on the head. 

“How about you Shosei?” Keigo asks him and Shosei turns his head to face him. 

“I’m fine too Mr. Sato.” he gives a small smile acting all reserved and Keigo nods. He’s about to say something but he gets tapped by an acquaintance and has to leave them for the meantime. 

The night is getting darker and even Issei has decided he wanted to go home already because he’s tired and sleepy. Syoya and Shosei stayed a bit longer, enjoying the unlimited mobile bar that came along with it. The rich people are mingling with each other although the night is dwindling down, and even with all of his alcohol tolerance Shosei is beginning to feel the hit of the alcohol hit him. He excuses himself from Syoya and tells him he will just go out for a short breath of fresh air, probably in the hotel’s overviewing deck or something. Syoya doesn’t mind so he goes, walking on his own towards wherever. He feels buzzed from the drinks and hopes that he doesn’t look suspicious as he walks towards the exit, to the hallway of the hotel. 

Just as he steps out he finds Keigo in view a few feet away, and there aren’t a lot of people around so they are not in fear of getting caught. 

“Shosei. Can we talk?” Keigo says in a hushed voice as he stops in front of him and Shosei nods, probably because he’s too buzzed and tired to say no. He still has a rational head to think but the alcohol had truly gotten to his legs, making him trip as they walk. Keigo holds on to him, making sure he doesn’t trip again as they walk. 

Keigo leads him to one of the rooms, swiping his keycard on the door. 

Immediately after Shosei enters Keigo slams the door behind him, trapping him as Keigo clashes his lips against his. The kisses are frantic and desperate but it makes Shosei feel as if he was a match lit on fire. He immediately snakes his arms around Keigo’s neck, pulling him closer as he melts his lips with the older’s. Shosei arches his back a bit when Keigo moves down to ravishing his neck, and it feels extra hot especially that Shosei’s senses are heightened. Shosei can feel Keigo’s leg trying to get access in between his legs and he moves a bit, allowing himself to grind on Keigo’s leg. Their suits are getting crumpled from the messy and heated activity but both could care less, way too absorbed in the moment to even think. 

“I missed you so much.” Keigo says in between kisses, breathing heavily. “I was torn, and I kept on thinking a lot.” 

“What have you thought about?” Shosei asks in a whisper as his hands pull Keigo as close to him as possible. 

“About you, me, us. The fact that I feel high when I’m with you. I feel like I can breathe, and I get excited at the thought of you. You understand me probably more than I do with myself, and when you refused to talk to me I didn’t feel good at all and guilty that I pushed you away that night.” 

“It was my fault for doing that. I got caught in the moment.” Shosei says, chasing after Keigo’s lips to devour.

“The more you didn’t want to talk to me the more I felt that I needed you so bad, and all I could think of was how I want to have you being there with me again.” Keigo slows down, panting as he tries to catch his breath. 

“I tried to stay away because you said no, and I wanted to respect your decision—”

“I take it back. All of it. God, I want you so bad.” Keigo runs a hand through his face as he walks to the bed to sit on it. “When you came out there in your suit and waltzed around having everyone look at you like that I thought I was going to explode.” 

Shosei sits beside him, tilting his head up so Keigo can sweep him for a kiss again. 

“Take me then.” he challenges him, and Keigo almost lets a growl. 

“Are you sure about this?” the older male asks and Shosei retaliates by sliding his hands from Keigo’s nape to just above the belt. It plays there, doing nothing but also being playful by the thought of it being there. 

“Are  _ you _ sure about this?” he asks, and Keigo moves so that the blond haired back is on the bed and the older is on top. 

“I want you so, _ so _ bad.” Keigo only answers, but that’s more than enough for Shosei. 

* * *

Syoya tries to find the right moment, so he finds himself always stalling—but with the way it’s going out of hand he feels bad for his mother. 

It’s not like she did anything wrong—she was a gentle person whose interests included listening to music and enjoying time with her fellow friends in the same social circle as far as Syoya was concerned. She never had any vices from her end as well and treated him and Issei well, raising them to where they were at the time. She looked younger than her age and She was the one that spent more time with them between the two parents, so Syoya would know. 

He was confused as to why his dad said those things about him and Shosei, making it seem like he was having the worst and most uneventful marriage of his life. 

He manages to find a time when they are both home. Syoya had just come back from early dismissal and his mom was there in the living room, enjoying a cup of tea in the middle of the empty house with only the faint music playing. His dad had left for another business trip again, and at this point only a dumb person would not notice the insane frequency of it. 

“Mom.” he greets her, and his mom immediately gives him a gentle, soft smile. 

“You’re home early sweetie. Do you want something to eat? Mom can cook something up for you if you want…” she offers, already perking up, turning off the player in case Syoya wants something. 

“No no, Mom I just—I want to talk to you about something.” Syoya says, biting his bottom lip. He tries to reassure himself that there would be no other better time than now. He sits on the couch just beside the loveseat she was sitting at. 

“What is it honey?” 

“Dad is cheating on you.” he says, exhaling it all out in one go. 

“...I know.” his mom simply says before she picks up her tea cup. “I know he’s cheating with Shosei, that little ingrate slut.” 

“What?” 

“I’m not as stupid as what your dad and that Shosei might think. Nobody will believe all those times he went out were because of business only, and them moving around the house like teenagers having sex for the first time is just bound to get them into getting caught.” Syoya can feel the bitterness in his mom’s words, who tries to calm herself with more tea. 

“We have to do something mom. You can confront him, so they’ll stop. This is getting out of hand and what if people begin—” 

“What do you think will happen to us if I do that, Syoya?” his mom faces him. “What’s out there for me, for us? I know you’re smart and you’re old enough to go out there and live your own life but what about your little brother? I have  _ no choice _ but to protect him.”

Syoya sighs out a shaky breath as he leans back on the couch, thinking about what his mother had said. 

“I hate your father so much, and I feel betrayed and hurt for everything and the fact that it was Shosei! Someone who I let in my home and treated so well!” His mom shakes her head as she talks about the blond male.

“What are we going to do about it?” he asks her. 

“What do you want me to do, Syoya? I don’t know what Shosei did to your stupid father and what he fed him, but it’s obvious who he will be listening to. He will take both you and Issei away from me and he will end up winning and getting what he wants, with Shosei in tow. I can’t give him that.” his mom is determined, and Syoya can feel the fibers of hate in her as she grits her teeth. It was his first time seeing his mom like this, and upon realizing that this is all happening all because of him made him sick. 

He finds himself retreating to his room, and the closer he gets the more choked up he becomes. He finds it hard to breathe with everything on him, and the realization that this was all his fault loops inside his head like a broken record that he wants it to stop so bad. He curls up in a fetal position on his bed as he cries. 

He turns to his side and sees the picture frames on his bedside table, with him of his family and one with Shosei. He turns once more and the photos on his vanity mirror are filled with just moments with him and Shosei, smiling beside him. It had been always them together, and only them. Syoya never really had any other friends he felt comfortable with because Shosei was enough, so even then that he was crying he had no one to go to. If it had been like the old times he would call Shosei once and just with less than a sentence the latter would be dashing to his place to comfort him and talk to him rationally about the problem. He feels so sad and empty, and regretful that he took Shosei for granted. 

He thinks about that night at the party, how Sukai had come up to him after they had a few drinks in and wanted to get down on him. He should have said no. He shouldn’t have drank more to the point that he lost all reasoning and just let his body speak for him, letting Sukai have his ways on him. He should have stopped even after that night. He should have told Shosei directly instead but he was afraid, knowing Shosei would get mad at him. But then Shosei said he forgave him and said he was already moving on, but Syoya thinks he should have never gone back. He should have just stopped no matter how good Sukai was or how willing and into him the taller male was. 

It was a thoughtless mistake at first, but him continuously being heedless to do it again and again was on him and he regrets it now more than ever in the entire world. 

Shosei is deliberately trying to get back at him, ruining his family, and it’s all his fault.

* * *

It’s one of those nights where Shosei is around, because he can and it’s not like Syoya can drive him out anyway. 

Issei is out for the weekend going camping with his classmates, and there’s just this tense and unnerving silence between all four of them on the dining table as they all pretend as if nothing is wrong with what is happening between them. Syoya looks at his mom who lazily plays with the food on her plate, as Shosei eats as if he’s doing nothing wrong. His dad is not saying a word, but Syoya can faintly make out where his hands are from underneath the table. 

All of this is too much for him, too wrong, and he fidgets with the hem of his shirt as he tries to keep it all in. He thinks about his mom, who doesn’t want to blow things out of proportion in fear of losing their dad and giving up a good future for Issei, and he then on the other end he thinks about his dad who has shamelessly ruined everything for them by letting himself get involved with Shosei. 

The dinner is still silent, and Shosei constantly keeps on shifting uncomfortably on his seat. He’s sitting way too close to his dad now and Syoya is at the edge of how long can he take any more of this behavior in front of them. He doesn’t even have to pretend to look down and notice his dad has his left hand on Shosei’s thigh. 

“Dad.” he calls out to him, to which the older male responds with a hum. “Can we not have  _ this _ in here? This is supposed to be the only time we actually get to feel like a family and now even that is ruined.” 

“Syoya.” his dad replies sternly and he sits up. 

“No dad, this is too much. Shosei, if you don’t have any respect for me anymore because of whatever I did, at least have some respect in front of my mom.” he scolds him, and Shosei rolls his eyes at him. He looks at his mom who is sitting there with her lips pursed and he wants her to say something, anything. 

“Syoya that’s enough.” Keigo raises his voice at him, and Syoya drops the utensils he’s holding. 

“ _ This  _ is enough, Dad. You’re seriously siding with him rather than us? Your family? What has Shosei done to you for you to behave like this? You were someone I admired and looked up to and felt proud of because I knew you as an amazing and respectable person, but I don’t know anymore.” he rants out, and Keigo drops his utensils on the plate in retaliation. 

“Fine, you can think of me in whatever form you want. I can’t force you on that. But Shosei is as important to me, and just because you don’t understand doesn’t mean it’s not true.” 

“What has he done _for you_ that I don’t understand?! Let you take him to bed and spread his legs for you?” he couldn’t help himself as he practically yells out, and Keigo looks at him enraged. 

“He makes  _ me  _ happy. He makes me feel things I have never felt before and he understands me. I love him. It doesn’t feel like we are any different from each other and if that’s too much for you to understand then you need to stop speaking as if you know anything about us.” Keigo is furious, conviction dripping with each and every word and Syoya is taken aback, feeling small from where he is sitting. He can see his mom looking with his head down, hands shaking as she clutches on to the cutlery. He knows she has a lot she wants to say but she can’t, and for her Syoya keeps his head up. 

“Dad, he  _ doesn’t  _ love you!” Syoya is fighting back the tears of frustration pending to fall, and he’s grasping on the threads of his jeans in anger. He can’t think of anything else that he could do except the one thing that he has been putting off for so long. “Shosei, tell him the truth. Tell him you don’t love him. Please. I beg you.” he says, desperate eyes trying to meet the blond male’s. 

“I know you’re only doing this because of me Shosei. Tell him the truth!” Syoya directs his attention to the blond male, who’s oddly silent in the exchange. “I know you’re only doing this because I did you so wrong for taking Sukai and I lied to you and I’m wrong for breaking your trust like that. I shouldn’t have done that and I’m really so sorry but don’t drag any more of my family into this. If you want me to go down on my knees for you to forgive me I will but please, don’t hurt any more of my dad or my mom. If not for me, at least for my brother. It’s all my fault, so not them please.” 

Shosei crosses his arms as he leans back, keeping the eye contact between him and Syoya. 

“When you kept on lying to me about Sukai at first, I tried to give excuses in my head. _ Syoya probably couldn’t say it because of this or because of that _ . I kept on rationalizing, because I know you would never do that to me. Then it came to the point I felt more mad, because you promised me empty lies.” Shosei scoffs. “By the end of the day, it wasn’t even about him anymore, it was about you and the fact that you couldn’t keep a promise, and couldn’t tell me the truth. I wanted you to tell me multiple times Syoya. Not just once.” 

Syoya gulps as he braces himself for Shosei’s words.

“What made you so afraid? If you saw me the way I saw you, as a best friend, you’d know that we could have talked it out. Instead what did you do?” Shosei says, making sure each word cuts deep in Syoya. “Sometimes I wonder if you ever really saw me as a best friend, or kept me around just because it was convenient and it makes you feel better to have someone who can’t be as perfect as you.” 

Shosei is full of resentment now if he wasn’t before, as he turns to Keigo as well. 

“..and you’re not any better than your son, like what kind of sick person would go after their son’s same aged friend? You’re so sad and pathetic, I honestly can’t believe you fell for it at first. The apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree.” he says, scoffing at Keigo’s face as he moves his hand away from him. 

Keigo is puzzled and the table is silent for a moment, as if digesting everything that Shosei just said. Shosei uncrosses his arms and sits up properly. 

“Between the four of us in here, I’m the one who doesn’t have anything to lose. Back then I probably would have said my friendship with Syoya is the most invaluable thing that I would treasure the most—and would never trade for anything else in the world. But there’s only so much a person can take Syoya, and that’s if you’re forgetting I’m a person with a life of my own and doesn’t exist to serve as a second filler character in your story.” 

“Shosei, can we talk about this alone? Maybe there’s just—” Keigo starts but Shosei cuts him off. 

“If you have anything you want to talk to me Mr. Sato, you can talk about it right now.” He motions between the two of them. “What, are you ashamed? Do you regret it? Do you not  _ love me _ anymore?” Shosei turns his bitter tone to him. 

“Was this all nothing to you? Everything we’ve had?” Keigo asks, and Shosei tilts his head to the side. 

“Well, not completely nothing… I managed to get what I want in the end anyway.” he says, nodding to himself. “If you’re wondering, only you and I know all the things I told you and made you feel, so it’s up to you to pick apart which ones are real or not.” 

“Shosei, please. I know you’re lying. You can’t be saying that and I refuse to believe that it was all just nothing for you when I know you felt the same. You want me as much as I want you.” Keigo tries to hold on to his wrist desperately. 

“Are you delusional?” Shosei spits out as he wriggles free from Keigo’s grip. “Mr. Sato, there is no  _ us _ .” 

Shosei takes off the napkin on his lap and gets up, dusting himself in front of all of them.

“I’m so sick of each and every one of you. Yes, you’re not so different Mrs. Sato, you’re a coward and for not standing your own ground maybe you do deserve to be cheated on. The fact that your husband was willing to jump me as soon as he can, who knows what he can do again? Are you going to continue living your life like a coward with his head hung low behind him? You’re so afraid of losing this gem filled life of yours that you’ve never even thought of how you can hold on to it properly.” he raises his eyebrows at her and she throws the utensils she has been clutching on tightly, loudly clanking against the plates. Syoya can make out the blood that has pooled on her hand from how hard she has been holding on to it the entire time. 

“Say something, please do. I can’t be the  _ only  _ one with this much to say about all of this. Come on, Mrs. Sato. Talk back to your husband, tell him how you knew about him and me and kept silent about it. Curse me even, call me a whore, call me names!” 

“Shosei please. Stop.” Syoya gets up and reaches out to him, and there’s the stream of tears that he had been holding on to for the longest time. “I’m sorry okay? I took you for granted. Please. Stop.” 

He’s crying so much that it’s hard for him to breathe and Shosei looks at him for a few moments like that, before he gently removes Syoya’s hand on his wrist.

“Well, I’m leaving because I’ve had my fun and you rich people tire me to death. Please  _ don’t ever  _ contact me again.” he says to Keigo and then turns to Syoya. “It took you so long, but I told you I just wanted you to take accountability for your actions. Job well done Syoya, keep it up. I would say thank you for the friendship, but I guess you’re not thankful for it anymore after all of this.” 

Shosei motions a wave as he leaves the dining room, and Keigo gets up to follow him but Syoya sees his mom stop him with her free hand. She grips him tightly and through his tears he can see her take it off of her forcefully to follow Shosei. Syoya doesn’t have the energy to follow them anymore, he feels as if he has been drained of any possible energy he might have had left in his body. 

He sobs, burying his face in his hands afraid to see the aftermath. 

* * *

Syoya tries to swallow the mashed potatoes that he has been trying to consume for the past few minutes, but he can’t seem to just put it down.

He looks at his food, unappealing to him despite how luxurious it all is and then looks around in front of the table he’s sitting on. His younger brother is happily munching on his food on the left and on the other end his parents are silent, with tension between them so thick Syoya can almost cut through it. His dad’s face is void of any expression, and his mom’s eyes are swollen but even through the thick makeup Syoya can see that. It has always been like that recently.

Nobody says a word at the dining table, and the only thing that can be heard is the sound of utensils clanking against the plate. Nobody dares speak up, and even his younger brother has caught up on that. He's smart for his own good, and sometimes he asks questions that Syoya doesn't know how to respond to. How could he? It wasn't something easy to explain to a kid. He wonders if he will have the guts to tell him about it in the future. Maybe, maybe not. 

Syoya can’t stop boring his eyes on this dad’s face for some reason, he can’t stomach how he can just sit there and act like nothing went wrong between all of them. Nothing can take away the fact that he's still his dad, but after everything they had went through it doesn't feel right anymore. All of the happy memories Syoya had had been tainted and overpowered by the bitter ones and its something they all have to carry in their hearts for the rest of their lives. 

Syoya can feel the bile rise up to his throat, but stops it just in time.

Even looking at his father still makes him feel sick. Probably because it reminds him of adultery. 

Syoya remembers, that back then oftentimes his dad would get a message or a call asking him to attend to a work emergency which was a code for him meeting up with Shosei. He knows his dad still hopes for it, keeping his phone within reach as they dine together pretending their family is fine. He knows his dad still has feelings for the younger, and no matter how many times Syoya probably yells at him to stop it, there won't be any effect. Shosei had done his job, too good to leave a lasting impression. 

Syoya can see his mom’s hand shake as she holds on to the chopsticks tightly and he wants to tell her honestly that it’s okay, and that it will be fine, but even he himself isn’t so sure anymore. 

His perfect life had crumbled bit by bit like a sandcastle near a wave, but instead of water it was the closest person in his life that did it to him. Shosei dug from the inside out and left them hollow, a broken family inside a huge husk of gold. 

He sometimes wondered if Shosei was overboard with his punishment on him, or if it was just right as he did far worse things that he wasn't even aware of. He'd honestly like some answers from Shosei, but then again he doesn't want to see him again. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinjo Sukai, look what you made them do.


End file.
